Still believe in the pursuit of happiness for all us?

I have my own thoughts on homosexuality that are not very open minded but this isn't about me or any other heterosexuals, nobody is telling us how to live our lives. When it comes to gays in our country I believe we have it wrong when it comes to gays serving in our military and the ability for them to get married or some form of partnership. I here people arguing against gay rights and one might believe in listening to them that gay people are forcing their way of life on to the rest of us but I feel the opposite is true were we imposing our values onto other people.

When you have several military leaders including the Secretary of Defense calling for the end of don't ask don't tell one might think that it's time for a change... So why is this still an issue? I don't have an answer, only a bunch of expletives to show how dumb I think it is that we are dragging our feet on this. I'm not going to ague that the sher amount of divorces are doing more harm to the institution of marriage then gays getting married, stay with me. What happened to equality amongst our fellow man(woman). I can talk about the need for partners to be able to make decisions when it comes to finance or medical issues but that still doesn't get to the heart of the argument.

All of us should be able to pursue happiness in whatever form or whomever we want choose. I don't see a reason to touch religion because it's the easiest way for the discussion to round and round in circles and it is too easy for some of the nay sayers to hide behind the cross. I'm going to end my little rant with this, we might not approve of another persons lifestyle (as if it's up to us approve) but that doesn't mean we should be so quick to tell others how they should live.

Maybe there is one positive... I think

Maybe I can salvage one thing through this chapter in my life, I finally learned to cook. Previously the phrase if you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen had applied to me in every way. I find it a bit ironic that I looked up to someone who so enjoyed fine foods and a good bottle of wine, yet I've been so plain in my taste in food. I didn't even try wine until earlier this year, due to my parents encouragement of me to expand my horizons.

While my dad was in the hospital in April, I would visit him for a couple hours a day after I was done practicing golf and then my mom would visit my dad after she would come home from work. I started cooking actual meals, not just popping stuff in the microwave or Ramen noodles, for my mom before she came home so she could have a good dinner before she left for the hospital to spend the rest of her evenings with my dad. In the beginning the meats looked more like they were boiled rather than grilled as well as the rice and pasta being undercooked, both products of me being scared of burning the food... the vegetables were good. Through trial and error I learned my own style of cooking, browning the meats just enough while keeping them tender, the rice and pasta became not just eatable but really good. The veggies managed to get better too. Along with learning how to cook my mom and I came up with out own little cool salad. I have to give an honorable mention to my aunt Carmen for starting my down the road of healthy eating, thank you Aunt Carmen!

When my dad finally arrived home after being in the hospital for three weeks I continued to cook for the family, it gave me a sense of pride that my dad liked my cooking. We would argue about eating the salad and vegetables but he loved the stuff that came from the stove and that was good enough for me. He could not have a glass wine with me any more (because it upset his stomach) but we could enjoy a cold bottle of Blue Moon together watching the afternoon baseball games. Cooking was something I felt I should do to contribute to our family through those hard months and I learned a new passion that I can take from this chapter in my life.

Why bother watching sports?...

I tend hear this a lot : "Why do people watch sports? Watching a bunch of millionaires play with a ball is stupid." Well there might be something to be said for that statement... I can see once anyone bothered to look at some the contracts of the players they would find themselves asking how are these guys getting paid so much money to play a game? I don't know what to say to those people, I think some of us are getting too cynical. I can't get enough of sports, I love the real life drama, timeless stories of the underdog, and tension of watching the games play themselves out not knowing who will come out on top.

I think this past year in rooting for my teams I've seen all the highs and lows of watching sports. I can talk about being in the dumps with Raider football and UCLA basketball, watching the games hoping for some spark of life but knowing all there really was for me was to look forward to "next year". Watching Dodger baseball and Cardinal football, seeing flawed teams come together to make a run in the playoffs only for them to come up short again... However, the thrill of watching the Lakers march to back to back championships over the hated Celtics was second to none. Maybe I'm being naive and watching these millionaire jocks play games is dumb but I just don't see it that way.

I guess I'm always going to be a sucker for watching people play out their dreams on a stage in front of the world, seeing if they can make it work together. Watching for guys like Arjun Atwal, age 37, win his first ever PGA tour event and in doing so becoming both the first Indian born player to win on the PGA and the first Monday qualifier to win on tour in 24 years. I love stories like that. Of course I can just break it all down as simple as I can, in the end watching sports is a great getaway from the daily grind...

Still don't know where to turn...

I've wanted so much to write about whatever the topic of the day had been... But there is still just one topic on my mind; where did my dad go? Since I've last written I have had some good days and Sunday was a bad day. I had woken up with a weird feeling, done some chores, turned on the tube to watch the golf tournament and then it hit me like a tone of bricks. It was all I could do to compose myself and stay calm... A single question kept coming up in my head, where did my dad go?

I have heard from other people that it will be hard and the emotions come in waves and that they are there for me, not to seem like an ass, but none of that really helps. I don't think anyone can help, this will just be something like everyone else will I have to navigate through.... Alone. I can only hope I don't crash into too many people.

My Dad

I almost don't know where to start... Well let me start with Happy Birthday Day Dad! There is no way for me to fully express just how much I miss my dad, he has been to me the man who raised me, my best friend and my coach. Time cannot be explained to me where it feels like it all has happened so quickly and yet it feels like a year has gone by. I frequently get those weird feelings where I think if I just turn around he will be there and this was all just a dream. The twenty-seven years I've spent with my dad were invaluable and I love him for the time we spent together.

These last few months were hard and great to be with him, I saw him humbled physically and still show the vigor for life that all great men show. Since the heart surgery it had become very hard for my dad not being able to do many of things he had become accustomed to doing nor being the husband he felt he should have been to my mom, he tried so hard. Dad did manage in his own way to enrich the lives of those he kept in contact with, whether it be the retelling of old stories or something anecdotal just to get a laugh. Always showing concern for others in whatever situation they were in. He had always been the kind of person where it did not matter what ones background could be, Dad could relate to anyone. I'd be willing to bet that not too many people knew just how big of a liberal he really was; but that kind of thing didn't matter to him as long as he felt that you were a good person. My dad showed me what it was to be a good friend and great man in his last days.

In the end I have so much to be grateful for whether it be the game he showed me how to play, the friend of a lifetime he was to me and most importantly the father figure I so desperately needed. I just remember now, when Dad first taught me the game golf, he was a titan on the golf course... he really was that good. He was an imperfect man but who really is perfect, my dad was man who always improved himself no matter how hard it was and I admire him for that. There are so many things I can go on and on about but I will put it simply: Dad was man who served his country dutifully, a generous man, a caring father and a great loving husband.

I love my dad and I will miss him so...

Gabriel Richard Tellez – 08/12/1943 – 07/24/2010